There are many situations a married couple find themselves in that could, according to law, be grounds for divorce. But if marriage vows are genuinely taken, all under the sun should be done before waving that white flag and separating. After all, in the eyes of God, such a union is unbreakable. So although a circumstance might seem hopeless, cling to a state of hopefulness and try these practical solutions that could save your marriage.
I’m Out!
According to legislation, you have every right to file for divorce if adultery or a felony has taken place. Sustained physical and or sexual abuse by your spouse, been living apart continuously for one or two years, or have faced abandonment, then you have acceptable reasons to file. Both being in agreement to go separate ways would also put you within your rights to call upon a Peoria divorce lawyer to file a dissolution of marriage petition. From this filing as a resident of Arizona, your significant other will be allowed twenty days to respond, thirty if he or she is a non-resident of that state. If a total of seventy days passes with no response from your spouse, you could then be granted a default decree of dissolution of marriage.
Agreements would have to be reached on important issues like child support if children were born from this union, custody of said children, and possibly spousal support. Sadly 45 percent of marriages end in divorce & upon receiving the final decree of dissolution of marriage, the union would then be officially terminated and other key matters would be addressed such as division of property and restoration of the maiden name of the spouse who filed.
As you can see, the process is extensive and can become quite complicated. In an effort to avoid this rocky road and slippery slope, let’s see how saving a marriage is possible.
Communicate Deeply and Regularly
Good communication is the glue that holds a couple firmly together. Technology has grown to the extent that you need not see each other every day to maintain contact. While this is great, it has its place. Texting and whatsapping, face-timing, and the likes should not become the regular means of communicating with your spouse especially if you both live in the same home and can do so face to face.
There is a certain intimacy that grows and flourishes when a couple comes together to talk, knowing that a safe environment exists to truly express themselves. This means there is a level of comfort in sharing both negatives and positives and this is received judgment-free. If a difference of opinion arises, work through it in your own way. This does not look the same for every couple. Leaving things unsaid, hidden, or buried fosters discord and may even brew hatred. Let this not befall your union.
Date Your Spouse
That may sound odd but please, date! Wooing should never stop. Just because you got the girl that doesn’t mean you no longer need to try. And vice versa for the ladies. Set some time aside weekly or monthly, as your schedules allow, to simply be with each other. It could be a date night spent on the sofa talking, laughing, and watching your favorite programs. Cooking together, having a picnic, taking the other out to a restaurant. There are many things you can think of. Tailor your dates to activities you know the other would appreciate.
This can become an additional way you let your spouse know that you’re thinking about them and are still able to see into their spirit. If you have young children, get a sitter. Quiet and private time should be relished. If the relationship between the two of you breaks down, that will undoubtedly trickle down to the children. So don’t ever think that neglecting each other is for the benefit of the little ones.
Take Some Time Apart
What!? Yes. A bit of space doesn’t have to be a bad thing. If you realize that no matter what you try, nothing seems to be working, then some time apart may be the answer. There should be a happy medium between being together and taking time apart. Balance. You both had lives before marriage, no reason that needs to go completely out the door. Go off and do things you individually like doing. Meet up with friends, rekindle passions lost. Not with other people. Reconnect and get reacquainted with yourself. Take some self-help classes. Get a new hobby.
In another vein, but still, along the same line, this may be a decision that helps someone to see very clearly what life could be like without their other half. If anything can kick someone into gear quickly, this could be it. Your spouse may receive it as a punishment or as a wake-up call. Either way, message received. A greater appreciation for each other will hopefully be generated and the marriage can get back on track.
If this does not work, run to a counselor or therapist. Sprint. Try as you might on your own to no avail, seek the help of a professional. They are usually able to see factors playing out in your marriage that you may not. You know how the saying goes, the closer to a situation you are, the less clearly you see.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. A holy sacrament. No one enters into it thinking it will end in divorce. Sadly, sometimes that is the case. But do not approach your problems thinking there’s always an easy way out in the form of divorce. No. Put up a fight for the person you pledged to spend the entirety of your life with. As long as there’s a level of willingness from one or ideally both of you, even if it is only a glimmer, then hope is still alive.
Don’t allow couple issues to fester. Be upfront and honest. At the first sign of turbulence, speak up. Don’t wait on the plane to start taking a nose dive to then quickly scramble. Love is hard. It requires serious work. Every day. Are you willing to put in that work to save your marriage? Your response determines your action.