Being shy isn’t a character flaw, in fact, many of us sustain it even well into adulthood to some degree. That especially goes when we have trouble talking to a possible romantic partner we’re interested in, as we might find ourselves tripping over our words or coming across as much more vulnerable than we intended.
For children, however, shyness can sometimes be such a concealing emotion that it causes children to fall into anxiety, worry, stress, and frustration with many social situations in their lives. This can often impede their chance to give something a go, to express themselves, and to accept and go with risk. Now, not all children are natural performers or social butterflies, and so having a quiet, introverted child who prefers to keep to themselves is no bad thing. But when it limits their development, it can be.
Finding that balance as a parent and learning how to help our children grow in confidence can be a hard task. If you at all think some extra help is needed, talk to your family doctor or pediatrician. But there may be some approaches you can take to help. Consider this:
Joining A Club/Activity
Team sports may or may not help a shy child get out of their shell, but it’s not necessarily the easiest to fit into. Even confident adults might not feel confident when being physically tested. That’s why a club or activity more than their speed for now can be a good choice.
Often, learning musical instruments can be a great option, because they can be learned both solo and in a group. When that happens, then opting for band instrument rentals to help collaborate and play with others can be a natural extension of solo lessons. This way your child can express themselves and love the power of creativity and art.
Start Small & Build Up – It Does Help
Not every child needs to become the star of the school play, and that’s totally fine. Sometimes the best progress comes from tiny steps forward. A shy child might start by just greeting their teacher each morning, or asking one question in class each week, and encouraging to do that with a reward system in place can be ideal. Such small victories build real confidence because they’re achievable.
When your child manages these little steps, celebrate them quietly rather than making a big fuss, but celebrate them nonetheless and show them just how much progress they’ve made. If they feel reinforced positive emotion with learning to put themselves out there, and even accept if things don’t go how they imagined, that’s wonderful and a great achievement.
Let Them Set the Pace
The truth is that pushing too hard usually backfires with shy children. They need time to watch and process before joining in for example, so if you visit a playground or club, let them observe for a while before expecting them to play or join in. The trick is to stay close by without hovering, so they know they have a safe base to return to. This helps them gather the courage to explore on their own terms, which does matter. Most children naturally become more outgoing when they don’t feel pressured about it or if it doesn’t become a huge “thing” in your household.
Constantly talking about how shy they are and how they need to make an effort today, even if highly well-intentioned, can give them something of a complex. They may begin to feel shy about being shy. It’s best to gently work on this problem without explicitly telling them you’re doing so unless advised by your pediatrician or child counselor.
With this advice, we hope you can more easily help your little one come out of their shell.