Do Anything But Keep Up With The Kardashians: 5 Ways to Standout Beyond Looks
By Cristina Ballesteros
Ladies and Gentlemen: Do anything but keep with the Kardashians. Usually when I sit down to catch up with my single friends, the topic of dating inevitably finds its way into the conversation. Just last week, I sat down with a friend of mine to chat. But what started out as a typical conversation on the difficulty of dating turned more serious when she said something that really struck me: “I just feel like I have to look like a Kardashian to get someone to pay attention to me.”
My gut reaction to this was, “What the fuck? That’s terrible. No woman should feel like this.”
However, as upset as I was by my friend’s comment, I too have felt the pressure many women feel to look sexy or hot at all times. And that’s why I think the Kardashian musing really hit home with me.
Because what woman hasn’t felt at one point or another like she had to fit a certain standard in order to be accepted? We are constantly barraged with images of the aforementioned Kardashians, movie stars, singers and models who for the most part, fit into a certain mold of beauty. We are both directly and indirectly being told what we should like look and what is considered “perfect”.
And I use the word perfect in quotations because none of these women look like their photos in real life. There is no such thing as a flawless human being – but no one ever highlights that fact. It’s as if the illusion of perfection must exist for all of us to imitate.
I find this to be truly damaging in today’s dating scene for several reasons: First, it puts an obscene amount of pressure on women to look a particular way that is unrealistic and constrictive. If a woman goes outside of these norms she is unsung instead of celebrated. If we all try to look the same, won’t we just be an army of dull lookalikes? It limits women to fit into such a narrow hole and conveys the message that women are only worth whatever their outward appearance is and that any deviation is wrong. Secondly, I think society’s narrow perception of beauty says gives men unrealistic ideas of what they should seek and expect from women. This is a total recipe for disaster where only superficial connections are made.
When all you’re about is what’s on the outside (as cheesy and cliché it sounds), when do you have time to cultivate who you really are? When do you focus on the person that dwells inside your physical body? Do you really want to present a pretty but empty shell to the world?
Logically speaking there will always be a pretty face; Generations of celebrities are proof enough of the good gene pool. When have you ever heard of someone who never ran into another attractive human being ever again in their lives? But while physical attraction is important and must be there, but there will always be another attractive man or woman. There is an entire planet full of them.
But the people we remember most, the people that usually impact you the hardest are those who stand out in some other way. You always remember the talented musician, or the guy with the creative jokes, the person with that really cool hobby or that person who had a personality that really stood out to you.
Those are the people that draw us in the most the ones that usually stay in our heads in a way that is far more lasting than the rando hottie you saw.
So the question then becomes, what should we do to make ourselves a more standout and developed person? Here are somethings I suggest:
- Be kind – Smile at someone you don’t know, be open to meeting all kinds of new people. You never know if a smile might lead to a new friendship you wouldn’t have made before.
- Volunteer- Throw yourself into something you’re passionate about. Giving your time to something you care about will make you feel good and therefore radiate from within! It’s also a great way to meet people who share the same interests as you. Check out this site to get started volunteering.
- Be considerate of others- People appreciate and remember those who show consideration for others. Some simple ways to do this includes holding doors, arriving to engagements on time, using turn signals, use words like “please” and “thank you.”
- Do not immediately judge people- This one is a little trickier, but it’s a great way to becoming a more open and accepting person. When meeting new people, give them a chance to present who they are, beyond whatever outward appearance they may have.
- Practice patience and understanding – It’s easy to lose your patience while you wait in line at the coffee shop or gas station. The more you learn to accept the things out of your control the easier it becomes to put yourself in other people’s shoes
Following these tips and dedicating yourself to cultivating your uniqueness will make you profoundly more attractive.
So I say to all my ladies, be you. Work hard on building up your personality – your ideas – your focus. Forget about perfect pictures, outfits and makeup. Forget about looking like a Kardashian. Be yourself.