Comedian George Lopez Wants to Run for President

It was a sold out show at South Florida’s Hard Rock Event Center on Saturday, May 26 for George Lopez’s The Wall World Tour.

The torrential downpour, albeit unusual for this time of year, did not stop a flood (pun intended) of people from seeing him perform. It was apparent that only a mere handful of seats were empty – no rain could stop the attendees from potentially having a good laugh.

Quickly following the opening act Bryan Kellen, the familiar tune of “Low Rider” from the theme song of the comedian’s famous show played. Applause erupted, and Lopez appeared onstage, looking clean cut in a suit and tie.

Of course, the Lopez immediately delved into his signature Latino jokes about family, especially parenting and the oversensitivity of children today. “‘Oh, he’s getting bullied online,’” mimicked Lopez. “Well then, shut the computer off!” The audience roared with laughter, especially during his bit about parental praise. “Nowadays, parents praise their children for everything,” he began. “‘You woke up today, yea!’ The only time we were praised as kids was when we fucked up.

[Imitating his father while clapping] ‘You scratched the car, great job! You’re a fucking genius. I wish I had two of you: one to kill and the other to fix the scratch.’” Along with the guffaws came nodding in understanding, and some tear wiping as well.

The clapping increased when Lopez said he wanted to run for president. Not surprising due to the title of the tour, Lopez spoke about his disapproval of the current POTUS.  “Trump said Mexicans are thieves and rapists, so when I see him, I’m going to rob him and then rape him,” he said. “Fuck him now, fuck him tomorrow and fuck him for the rest of his life. And if you voted for Trump, fuck you now, fuck you tomorrow and fuck you for the rest of your life.”

He also added, “As long as I live, I won’t let anyone speak badly about Latinos if they’re not one of us.”

Aside from his palpable hate for Trump, raunchy jokes and strong disapproval for raising overprivileged children, there was some inspiration. “[Sic] My biological family said I was going to end up on the street, and I did,” said Lopez. What flashed on the screen next was his Hollywood Walk of Fame star. “Don’t let anyone say you can’t do anything.”

Alas, there were more pearls of wisdom from the comedian. “Life is too short so eat everything, drink, smoke, take all the pills, everything,” he said. “But let’s do it tonight, because they can’t catch us all at the exit [of the Hard Rock Event Center]. Except for the two gluten free guys.” Eloquently put, George.

For a fun BBQ spot, click here.


About Natalya

view all posts

A lover of puns and an alliteration addict, Natalya enjoys running, reading, writing and being spontaneous, so long as her neurosis and type A personality doesn’t get in the way of anything. To see her work, visit JonesingForJournals.com.

Leave a Reply